幽默人生 英汉对照【2025|PDF下载-Epub版本|mobi电子书|kindle百度云盘下载】

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第一章　家庭变奏曲2

1．A Russian Baby Will Speak Russian2

俄国小孩天生说俄语2

2．Follow One's Father3

父行子效4

3．All I Do Is to Pay the Bill5

我要做的一切就是付钱6

4．The Long and Short of It6

长短之说7

5．A Nickel and Two Dimes8

五分镍币和两个一角的银币8

6．A Rule9

规矩9

7．A Girl Just Like Mother10

像妈妈的女孩10

8．I knew I could count on you11

我知道你会帮我12

9 Lucky Mother12

幸运的母亲13

10．A Smart Housewife14

精明的家庭主妇14

11．I Want a Nightmare14

今天晚上我想做噩梦15

12．An Energetic Wife15

我那精力旺盛的妻子16

13．Grandpa and Granddaughter16

爷爷和孙女17

14．The day off from work18

休息日18

15．Gifts to Mom19

给妈妈的礼物20

16．Perfect Match21

绝配22

17．Father won't like it22

爸爸会不高兴的23

18．Mom's Piano24

妈妈的钢琴24

19．Father's Things25

父亲的东西26

20．Do You Know What That Sound Means26

你们知道那声音意味着什么吗27

21．Receiving A Lashing28

挨打28

22．A Letter to Son29

给儿子的信30

23．Expectant Father31

准爸爸32

24．A Parrot33

鹦鹉33

25．Not For Today34

不是为今天34

26．I Can Remember That35

我能记得住36

27．You Didn't Miss a Thing37

你什么也没耽误37

28．Saying Grace38

感恩祈祷39

29．Who Is God39

谁是上帝40

30．Get up41

起床啦41

第二章　爱情仙人掌44

1．What You Want Is a Television Set44

你要的是台电视机44

2．Present For Girlfriend45

送给女友的礼物45

3．Dating For Mother46

约会46

4．Both Intelligent and Courageous47

智勇双全48

5．An Old Couple's Quarrel48

老夫妻吵架49

6．Endearing Terms49

可爱的称呼50

7 Blind Date50

相亲51

8．Wait Till Next Year51

等明年再说52

9．That Guy Is Me52

那个人是我53

10．Calling the Boyfriend54

给男朋友打电话54

11．Be Careful55

要慎重55

12．Contented Married Life56

心满意足的婚姻生活57

13．Cemetery58

墓地59

14．The Bridges of Madison County60

廊桥遗梦60

15．Response61

回应61

16．A Forgetful Husband62

健忘的丈夫62

17．The Husband's Annoyance63

丈夫的苦恼64

18．The Pig and The Cat64

猪和猫65

19．Praise65

称赞66

20．An Alcohol Tester66

酒精测试仪67

21．Second Time Split-up for Good67

第二次永远分手68

22．A New Boyfriend68

新交的男朋友69

23．A Good Way69

驭妻良方70

24．Do as You Do71

以你为榜样71

25．Love Didn't Stick72

爱没有粘住72

26．A Smart Message73

一封聪明的信73

27．Difference between Man and Woman74

男人和女人的区别74

28．Women Talk More Than Men75

女人说话比男人多75

29．Fortune Teller76

算命先生76

第三章　职场你我他80

1．Find Another Job80

另谋高就80

2．Let Them Go81

让他们滚81

3．The Same Occupation82

同行82

4．Beginner's High Salary83

初来者的高薪水83

5．Is Your Wife at Home Now84

你妻子在家吗84

6．How to Use the Machine85

如何使用这机器85

7．A Spectacular Job86

一份引人注目的工作86

8．Promotion87

升职88

9．Giving You a New Start89

让你获得新生89

10．That's Imagination90

那就是想象力90

11．Late91

迟到91

12．Shaving92

刮胡子92

13．He Knows Everything93

他知道所有的事情93

14．He's beer Rude95

他太无礼了95

15．A Reply Letter96

一封回信97

第四章　处世方圆间100

1．Churchill and Bernard Shaw100

丘吉尔和肖伯纳100

2．A Sausage101

一根香肠102

3．But He Has No Hair103

但他没有头发103

4．Thank God104

感谢上帝104

5．Dagger105

短剑106

6．Welcome to Come Back106

欢迎回来107

7．Never Change107

死性不改108

8．Advertisement109

广告109

9．On a Bus110

在公共汽车上111

10．Perfectness112

完美112

11．It's Not Fair113

那不公平114

12．The Two Chickens114

两只鸡115

13．Please Refund My Money115

请退还我的钱116

14．You Should Pay Double Tuition117

你应该付两倍的学费117

15．I Almost Yelled119

我几乎叫出声来119

16．A Lucky Idiot120

幸运的白痴121

第五章　医院哈哈镜124

1．Twenty-five Dollars for Pulling a Tooth124

拔一颗牙收25美元124

2．How Can I be Sure of Getting a Good Doctor125

怎样保证找到一位好大夫125

3．Dare Not See the Doctor126

不敢看医生127

4．Doctor and Mechanic128

医生和修理工128

5．It Was in the Bill128

它在账单里129

6．Fish and Eyes129

鱼和眼睛130

7．God Save the King130

上帝保佑国王131

8．Counterfeit Money for False Tooth132

假钱补假牙132

9．That's Nothing133

那算什么133

10．The Fear of Thunder134

害怕雷声134

11．Whose Job?135

谁的工作136

12．Heart Attack136

心脏病137

13．I'm a Butcher138

我是个卖肉的138

14．The Cost of a Smile139

微笑的代价139

15．Is There a Pharmacist in the House140

这里有药剂师吗140

第六章　校园百味堂144

1．Napoleon was Ill144

拿破仑病了144

2．Three Professors145

三位教授146

3．Like Mother,Like Son147

有其母则有其子147

4．An Interesting Answer148

有趣的答案148

5．A School Report149

成绩报告单149

6．Physics Class150

物理课150

7．Let Our Teacher Back151

让我们的老师回来152

8．Outwitted153

青出于蓝153

9．New Year Resolutions154

新年决心书155

10．Five Hundred Times156

五百遍156

11．Whose Boots157

谁的靴子157

12．I Must Find It158

我必须找到它159

13．Andersen and a girl160

安徒生和小女孩160

14．When Was Rome Built161

罗马是什么时候建成的161

15．Leading Questions161

诱导性的提问162

16．An Abstract Drawing163

一幅抽象画164

17．All Except the Music164

除了音乐165

18．An Entrance Examination166

入学考试166

19．I Am My Father167

是我爸爸167

20．The Same Mother168

同一个妈妈168

21．Writing a Composition169

写作文169

22．The Climate of New Zealand170

新西兰的气候170

23．The Professor's Lunch171

教授的午餐171

24．Visiting a Chicken Farm172

参观养鸡场172

25．Improvement173

进步173

26．Half or Five Tenths173

半个还是十分之五174

27．Who Discovered Australia174

谁发现了澳大利亚175

28．Two Birds175

两只鸟175

29．The Swimmer176

游泳者176

30．The Composition Class177

作文课177

第七章　警察的故事180

1．Grand Slam180

大满贯180

2．The Designated Decoy181

被指定的诱饵181

3．Incriminating Evidence182

犯罪证据183

4．If You Hurry You Can Still Make It183

如果你赶紧，还能赶得上184

5．Only When He's DRUNK184

他只是在喝醉的时候才这样185

6．I'm The Groom185

我就是新郎186

7．Veterinarian's Office186

兽医诊所187

8．I am Not Daft187

我不傻188

9．Too late to know188

为时已晚189

10．What is the total cost189

总共是多少钱190

11．A 14-year-old male190

一名14岁的男孩191

12．I just stopped for the red light191

我只是在等红灯192

13．No exceptions192

没有例外193

14．Who is the best police193

谁是最牛的警察194

15．A Burglar195

入室盗窃者195

16．Much Worse196

那就更糟了196

17．They're Busy196

他们很忙197

18．Glad to be drunk198

喝醉真好198

19．Do You Know My Work199

你知道我是干什么的吗200

20．I wash't200

我还没有过去201

21．A Driving Test202

路考202

22．A Psychic Suspect202

通灵的嫌疑犯203

23．On the Trail of the Sixth204

至少冤枉5个204

24．A Forced Confession205

草色逼供草色206

第八章　主顾碰碰车210

1．An Expensive Shoe Store210

不实用的时髦210

2．American Tourist and His English Guide210

美国游客和英国导游211

3．Arithmetic Lesson212

算术作业213

4．Bell-boy214

侍者215

5．Expensive Breakfast215

机会难逢216

6．Barber's Wife217

理发师的妻子217

7．Not Included218

恕不奉送219

8．The Fish Market Has No Sign220

鱼腥胜招牌220

9．The Florist221

花店老板222

10．No Problem222

没问题223

11．The Cat and the Saucer223

猫与托盘224

12．Why was she angry225

她为什么生气226

13．Unfair226

不公平227

14．Straight Forward227

直截了当228

15．A Rich Father228

有钱的父亲229

16．Before the Trouble Starts230

趁麻烦出现之前230

17．A Cure for a Headache231

治疗头痛232

18．A Nail or a Fly232

钉子还是苍蝇233

19．Buying a Hat234

买帽子234

20．This Alligator Isn't Wearing Any Shoes Either235

这只鳄鱼也没穿鞋236

21．Honesty237

想象力的妙用238

22．It Made No Difference239

照例不满意239

23．She Wanted a Bargain240

坚持讲价的聋老太太240

24．I Want to Get Out241

我要出去242

25．Being Shocked242

相当震惊243

第九章　童趣无极限246

1．A nickel is bigger than a dime246

五分的硬币比一角的大246

2．It's Little Johnny again247

又是小强尼247

3．Johnny failed exam248

强尼考试不及格248

4．What would God want with a dead dog248

上帝要一只死狗干什么249

5．Just say what hear mommy say249

你听妈妈怎么说，你就怎么说250

6．A Life-time Punishment250

终生的惩罚251

7．She was stunned251

她感到震惊252

8．God is missing252

上帝丢了253

9．In ten years254

再过十年254

10．What if we get separated255

我们分开了怎么办255

11．Twelve Ducks256

12只鸭子256

12．Only One Cake Left257

只剩一块了258

13．E Flat Minor259

降E小调259

14．I will give you ten bucks259

我给你们十块钱260

15．Daddy's home260

爸爸回来了260

16．You used to be a bear261

你以前是一只熊261

17．Catch up262

赶上去262

18．A tree's not much of a present263

一棵树也算不上什么礼物263

19．A Giant Boy Scout264

一个童子军巨人264

20．Until I saw you265

在看见你之前265

21．Exciting Trip266

激动的旅行266

22．Very serious about math267

对数学绝不马虎268

23．The more weight,the faster it goes268

越重跑得越快269

24．This time he took the cage269

这次它连笼子一起带走了270

25．He doesn't hate you anymore270

他不再恨你了271

26．Practicing my trumpet272

我在练习吹喇叭272

27．O Alaska273

啊，阿拉斯加273

28．An Earnest Prayer274

恳切的祷告274

29．I can see the diving board275

我能看见跳水板275

30．My mom puts me in the stroller too275

我妈妈也把我放在手推车里面276

31．Work at hotels276

到各个旅馆去上班277

32．Rabbit and Python277

兔子和大蟒278

33．Something Smelled Good278

什么东西这么好闻279

34．Who Should the Present Be Given279

礼物该给谁280

35．A Fall280

摔倒280

36．Should Be a Politician281

应该从政281

第十章　动物谐趣园284

1．The Importance of a Foreign Language284

外语的重要性284

2．What Happens285

那会怎么样285

3．Does the Dog Know the Proverb286

狗知道这条谚语吗286

4．Three Turtles287

三只海龟287

5．Golfer288

高尔夫球手289

6．I must be a Lawyer290

我肯定是个律师290

7．Cow on Train Tracks291

铁轨上的母牛291

8．The Complaining of a Hen and a Cow292

鸡和牛的抱怨292

9．Frozen Parrot293

冰冻鹦鹉294

10．I must Marry Him295

我一定要嫁给他296

11．Skunk296

臭鼬297

12．Frog's Dream297

青蛙的梦想298

13．Marvelous Idea298

奇妙的想法299

14．He couldn't Swim the Atlantic300

它游不过大西洋300

15．The Hard Rats301

大话老鼠302

16．Dancing Duck303

会跳舞的鸭303

17．A Clever Dog304

聪明的狗304

18．Nuisance Call305

弄巧成拙306

19．Magic Power306

忠于元首的德国牛307

20．Mosquitoes with Lanterns308

提着灯笼的蚊子308